Daily Simpson Knowledge

"Kill my boss?!? Do I dare live out the american dream?" homer j.

Dell is the DEVIL

I have never been under the impression that big companies give a shit about as the consumer and even more so that it pays to battle them. I have had my share of problems with these bullies such as verizon, mastercard, dell etc... But my recent encounter with Dell has really made me so incredibly furious with them. Bottom line I ordered a laptop and they sent me the wrong one. They claimed it was an upgrade because they no longer have my model. But the simple point was they screwed me and never asked or informed me of this change. And after spending many hours trying to translate Midwestern talk and then 6 more repeating myself to a plethora of Indians (not native Americans) I couldn't believe how this company still exists. A complete lack of responsibility for their blatant screw up. And the worst part is I don't want to buy a replacement but what the hell am I gonna buy instead...? Why is it in this country I feel like most decisions we make are simply the lesser of two evils. Why do I find myself saying well Bush may be bad but Kerry is worse...(sorry for politically reference it just fit) But on a positive note I did manage to exploit there incompotance by talking to so many reps I received $100 coupon and even $100 credit on the machine which I told one guy I would keep. So all in all Dell paid me for there screw up.... Ofcourse the ulcers I received from speaking to ignorant condescending morons wasn't worth it but hey its something....

Daily Simpson Knowledge

"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen." -homer j.

As he sat there, Shawn thought to himself "Damn ...I look good" 

Engaged and loving it...

It is truly rewarding when you can really have an impact on one persons life and even more so when you can inspire that person. And that is why I blog... The smiles, the laughter, the tears and now the marriage proposals. So recently my good friend Shawn (spelling changed to conceal his identity) had told me after reading one of my earlier blogs he was inspired. He was in fact moved and a bit frightened by the impact it had on his life. As he read the blog he realized he was wasting away waiting for a sign to give him reason to propose to his girl. And he looked at me, placed his left hand on my right shoulder and said in a serious tone with a hint of emotion, he said "Gil your words, your brilliant words have echoed in my brain for weeks and filled my heart with joy. They have brought me to tears and given me strength. And with that strength and your blessing I will ask the person I love second most in this world (first was me ofcourse or his deceased rabbit Georgie), I will ask that pain in the ass woman of mine to make an honest man out of me" And to that I said "Hey take it easy, you really are asking for a lot there. You are the most dishonest person I know, why don't you ask her something simple like to marry you...?" And with that simple suggestion, he went out bought a box of Cracker Jacks and took the prize from the inside and proposed marriage to his girl Kristy (spelling may be wrong). After he pleaded, begged and slipped her some Spanish fly she agreed to his terms. SO WITH MY DEEPEST REGRET, I SAY LADIES AND GENTLEMEN RAISE YOUR GLASSES (SPILL A LITTLE OUT FOR MY BOYS WHO PASSED AWAY) AND LETS WISH OUR BEST TO THE FUTURE SHAWN AND KRISTY LABARBIERIE
The preceding blog based on a true story
(some details of the story may have been altered for dramatic effect)

Shawn says "Take me to bed woman, or lose me forever" and she wasn't about to lose her man. 

Gidde Up...WoooHooo 

Traditional Irish test of Virility