Daily Simpson Knowledge

"Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button." - homer j.

never turn your back on them 

crazy ... all women are crazy

sure it's not a new concept never the less a true one. so why now do i bring this up, why today do i feel the need to explore this concept... because it would appear to me that there is no escape from the inevitable fact that i will eventually have to find a women and fall in love etc..etc.. at the same point it concerns me that every time i meet a women i see a bit of crazy in their words and especially their behaviour.
how is it that in every situation a woman can create drama, she can complicate the simplest of circumstances and drive a man crazy. force a man to act in a manner that is so far from their normal character. truth be told i have no idea what drives a woman to do or act the way she does. i could go into many examples but lets be honest we all have witnessed many acts of insanity purpetrated by the women we love or by the ones we want. now it may appear that i have been scared or burned and that is why i am bitching now but no i just like to bitch and this is what i came up with today. so i guess in the end i will have no choice but to pick out a level of craziness that i can accept and deal with and start there.
just remember "in the game of life women are the rake.." yeah i have no idea what that means either but it is probably true......

with a smile 

Daily Simpson Knowledge

"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!" - homer j.

A real man's game 

the sissification of america

a couple of weeks ago i met a teacher. she teaches 2nd grade.
for some time now i have become concerned about the direction of this great country of ours. allow me to explain. we are becoming less and less free and more pc and proper. we are so afraid of of being unfair and mean that we are training our kids to think life is fair. I could go on but rather i will get to the point. Many schools don't play dodgeball anymore... Now i know that is shocking to most of you but it is true. we are so scared to make our children realize early on who the sissies are and who are the cool kids etc... that they took dodgeball out of schools. i mean let's get real.. dodgeball is part of growing up. it establishes the pecking order, it makes you realize if you are weak nobody will want you on their side. it teaches nerds what they are and that they better start studying hard if they want to outsmart the strong kids. it allows the weak to be miserable growing up to prepare them for the harsh reality that they wont get laid for along time. it is a constant reminder that untill they train their brain and get rich they will recieve no attention from the opposite sex. it makes me so mad that people need warning labels on a big mac to remind them they will get fat and ugly if they eat it three times a day. i hate that we use the word reality to describe shows like survivior, the bachelorrette and the apprentice. let's get real when in reality would you have fifteen guys goin after you without calling you a slut for kissing fifteen other guys. how often do you get stuck on an island and get fired from a job you dont have...
So when i discussed this with that 2nd grade teacher she agreed with the change in the countries education...she felt it was right that kids don't line up and pick their teams by who is the best. she feels bad for the nerds... My guess is she probably got picked last in dodgeball and got knocked out first.
so i ask you what does ..."America the brave" really mean to you... toughen you sissies and takes your beatings like the rest of us.

dodgeball...building character 

funny 

Daily Simpson Knowledge

"I want to set the record straight: I thought the cop was a prostitute" - homer j.

cheers to you... 

Getting old sucks

I thought that men were supposed to age well... what a crock of shit. I keep getting older and it ain't pretty. It is amazing because i would have hoped as i got older i would actually get smarter, turns out i just get dumber with each passing day. my memory is for shit, my ability to speak the english language is diminishing ( it took me a few moments to come up with the word diminishing) i can't drink like i used to and my tolerance for people has gotten worse. Sure some may claim i don't take such good care of myself, and others might say i wasn't really starting with much and they may all be right but come on i am made of "steel and you cant hurt steel." (atleast that is what i thought) So i go out every wednesday and friday and sunday with an occasional tuesdy and saturday. I am in alot of pain today nd that just isn't cool. Getting old sucks...
(this post is honor of our asian friend turning officially old on sunday... happy bday)

Daily Simpsons Knowledge

'Maybe, just once, someone will call me "sir" without adding, "you're making a scene." - Homer J.

Sorry she's not hot

So I have had this argument with many drunken fools at the bar and I still think I am right. It has truly shown me how ignorant people can be. Sheep ..baaaahhh... They are told she is hot so they drool over her. Completely absurd, Britney Spears is not an attractive girl. If you really look at her, I mean beyond wanting to bang her because she is Britney, look at her terrible skin and uninspired look. She is one of those girls that if you saw on the street you would not be in awe at how beautiful she is. I could go on and on but I will let the pictures do the talking for me. So don't be suckers... boobs don't necessarily equal hot.
for more pics go to red sea link to the left...

ewwww 

Daily Simpson Knowledge

"Dear Homer, IOU one emergency donut. Signed Homer. Bastard! He's always one step ahead"
- Homer J.

fat is very funny 

Fat Is Funny

as my friend Doger (name changed for privacy) always reminds me... "fat is funny". Let me explain, Doger repeatedly has explained to me that "when you are fat things you do are just funny." He just feels that i just wouldn't be as funny if i lost weight so hence the quote. i must admit when it comes to this point i agree. people are just funnier when they are fat. for example steve-o used to be alot funnier when he was fat... i myself am still very funny because i am fat.
so why do i bring this up now... i just saw the movie Hitch. Suprisingly humorous at times but only because watching Kevin James act all clumsy and pathetic is just a funny sight. Lets be honest his skinnier counterpart will smith.. not funny. So the question i posed to myself is if kevin lost weight would i still giggle when i watched that movie. The obvious answer is "NO". Skinny is not funny.
Now to make point crystal clear... picture brad pitt with his shirt off... now picture chris farley with his shirt off... exactly. keep on laughing life is too short to waste .
"fat guy in a little coat..." - tommy boy