the jerk store is open for business

i like j-lo's behind (the 7-10 ratio, waist to hips), i think britney is hot (and a great role model for 14 year olds), i feel that the simpsons were only funny during the conan years (aquateen/sealab over simpsons anyday), and i dont use aliases (i like to keep it real like that retarded new age rap). as gil's occasional nemesis, it's only natural that he asked me to contribute to the red sea club and i thank him for that.
my first act as commissionar of the red sea club is to thank mr. marcus for being friends with uday for so long. second act, id like to discuss full bush vs shaved bush. ive been shaved since 1997 and been loving every minute of it. however, i like my ladies bush full, preferably sopping wet after a two hour work out at bally's, and on my face. my fantasy is to walk into a pub, smear shit on the bouncer's face, have him throw me across the pub onto the bar where the hot bartender has cut a hole in her jeans exposing her giant afro like birds nest, as i slide along the bar into her pillow of discipline. here is to hienies and vaginies. next week, boobs and falopian tubes. im the jerk.